Sometimes I wish I could pretend it never happened. It wasn’t a seance from a movie I saw, it was and still is my real life and it happened to me. I was younger than I am now. I feel wiser, stronger, a little more faithful. Lena was only a year old, her hair was out of control and I dressed her in old navy pant overalls over a little pink tee. I looked out the window and the sun was peering in! It was a gorgeous summer day in August. I was trying to get into shape, I had been running a couple times a week around a nearby high school track and I was bored of the ugly scenery. I asked my husband and several other people if Soos Creek Trail was safe. Everyone reassured me that the trail was fine.
The morning had come and gone, I kept myself busy doing the daily baby tasks; feeding changing and picking up toys. I had probably baked my little hearts content out. I was ready to get out. My husband was going to be home late. There were several forest fires and my father in laws excavating company had been asked to help. He was working hours away. I had to take advantage of the sunshine. I changed into my work out gear, grabbed my sunglasses, water bottle, keys, laced up my shoes, drove to the trail and parked at the entrance. I strapped Lena in the running stroller and off we went. I’d never been on Soos creek trail so my game plane was to run in a few miles, turn around and run back to where I was parked. As I started my run I noticed a man sitting on a log bench. He was wearing sunglasses. Several thoughts passed through my head about him. First, I wondered what he was doing sitting there. Why wasn’t he working out or walking like everyone else. But with ease I was able to answer my own questions with optimistic answers like, maybe he is just enjoying the peace and quite, he looks normal, he looks nice, he is dressed well, clean cut.
hat would be one of the last times in my life that I would ever brush off something suspicious.
I had run into the trail, maybe two miles, I turned around and was heading back to my car. As I was making my way back I saw the back of that same man. He was walking, same as me, back to the entrance of the trail it seemed.
From this point on my memory became photographic, every last detail is imprinted.
His head was shaved, he was wearing a white thermal, cargo shorts and tennis shoes and had some kind of Chinese writing tattoo on the back of his right calf. I thought it was odd that his hands grabbed the cuff of his sleeve, like he was hiding something. His gait almost had a rhythm to it, and he was walking very slowly. I was walking on the left side of the trail and he was on the right. As I came closer a sense of doom struck me. It was like a fog had surrounded me. Scenarios began arising in my head. I knew something wasn’t right, I knew I was in DANGER. But I knew the trail was ending soon and my car was not too far from me. I tried brushing off the feeling, I tried making my self feel ok, I kept jogging, I jogged quicker in hopes to pass, and then, I heard foot steps, they sounded like bombs. Each step was like an explosion because I knew they were coming right for me. In a matter of seconds that man had his arm around my neck and a knife to my head. He grabbed me so hard that he managed to tip the running stroller over. Lena was dangling in the stroller, held in only by the straps. Time stopped. I can remember each thought and each second because it felt like hours. It didn’t matter that he was chocking me and a knife blade was shoved against me. I worried about Lena. Motherly instincts are SO strong. I HAD to make sure she was ok. She was red faced and screaming. I begged, no DEMANDED that I get my baby. He released the head lock, but kept the knife close and allowed me time enough just to get her out of the stroller and then he grabbed me again, arm around my neck and forcefully pulled me off the trail and into the woods. If I pulled away he just tightened his arm around my throat. So many thoughts raced through my mind. I was trying to think things through, trying to figure out a game plane.
Then I remembered to PRAY.
I said a prayer in my mind with the strength that is equal to every prayer I have ever said. I prayed for our safety and that prayer never left my heart. I noticed he kept watching his surroundings. I could tell he was nervous. There were a lot of people on the trail that day. Someone would walk by sooner or later. I spoke to him. I said, “Are you sure you want to do this” I said it calmly. I repeated my self several times. He told me to “shut up” he told me to “keep the baby quite” He drug me further into the woods. I KNEW the further away from the trail I got the more serious the situation was for me. The thought embraced my mind, “he wants to kill me,” I was now at the point where I had to start thinking of an escape. There was a FLASH in my mind. You know the saying, “my life flashed before my eyes” IT’S TRUE. Your entire life can flash before your eyes. I soaked it all in, I didn’t want to give it up. There was so much on the line, so much to LIVE for. I was so young I wasn’t ready to die. It was like my entire life was on film and someone was fast forwarding it for me to see and I had time to watch it because time was frozen. Then we stopped moving and he yanked his pants down and then my pants down. I was almost a little relieved because I knew he wanted something else before killing me or maybe that is all he wanted. Either way I felt like it bought me time to escape. Then he told me over and over to get down on the ground. He wanted my face on the ground. As soon as he released his arm from me to allow me to lay on the ground I took off running back to the trail as fast as I could. I screamed “help” and with in seconds there was a group of people surrounding me concerned for my well being. I was in tears and could hardly explain what happened. I muttered out that “he tried to rape me” My whole body was shaking. I had fear surging through my body. I only wanted one person to be with me, my husband. I would feel safe with him near, I would be able to cry in his arms.
I ONLY wanted him.
Then next few hours were difficult because I didn’t have him. He was working so far away that he couldn’t even get cell phone service. There wasn’t anyway to get a hold of him. None of my family was there, they all live in California. My husband and I were only living there for the summer, we weren’t established, hardly knew anyone. I called my Mom, I don’t remember how long she stayed on the phone with me but I’m sure it was a while. Hearing her voice was comforting. It was hours before my husband was able to see me, and when he did a weight was lifted. I just wanted him to stay right by my side, I didn’t want to go even a few feet from him. I wish I could end the story here. I could say how grateful I was to be unharmed, how things could have been much worse and that after this I went back to life as normal.
I WAS grateful to be alive and safe. SO very very thankful for another chance at LIFE. But the story can’t end here.
I was far from recovered. I had to figure out how to live life and how to deal with FEAR and NIGHTMARES. I had to learn how submit to my heavenly father. I had to HOPE and TRUST like I never had before. I had to understand that I wouldn’t be healed overnight and it would be through baby steps. I had to pray A LOT. I had to hold on tight to the thought that I would come out on the other end of this trial. Patience, prayer and faith, did lead me to recovery. I remember so well, the first day when I could say to my self, “i went all day with out reliving it” I remember the first time I was able to go somewhere by myself. Anxiety would and forever be a symptom of my tragic event. I would and still must learn to deal with it. BUT NOT ALONE. NEVER ALONE. WE are never ALONE. We ALL have HIM to help us through our struggles. This experience changed me. I learned invaluable lessons. I do believe my prayers were answered that day and I also believe that my prayers are continued to be answered. I have heard so many stories of other victims with many sad outcomes as they are unable to function normally in society. I KNOW that my heavenly father loves me and I don’t believe it was a coincidence that I read THIS article the night before my experience to help better prepare me for recovery. What ever adversity we face, what ever bump in the road we hit, we NEED NOT BE AFRAID.
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